I rear-ended a car this morning. We pulled onto the side of the road,
and the other driver got out of his car. Yeah, well I couldn't believe
it -- he was a DWARF!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT
HAPPY!"
Well, as you can imagine, I was pretty rattled, and I looked down
at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
That's when the fight started.
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I retired recently, and went to the Social Security office to apply for
benefits. When the woman behind the counter wanted to verify my age I
realized I'd left my wallet at home. I told the woman I would have to
come back later.
"Unbutton your shirt," she said. So I opened my shirt revealing
silver hair.
"That's proof enough for me," she said, and she processed my Social
Security application.
When I got home, I told my wife what happened. She said, "You
should have dropped your pants. You could have gotten disability, too."
That's when the fight started.
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My wife and I were at my high school reunion, when she noticed me
staring at an obviously drunk woman sitting alone at a table.
"Do you know her?" my wife asked.
"Yes," I sighed. "She's an old girlfriend. She started drinking
after we split up years ago, and people say she hasn't been sober
since."
"My God!" whispered my wife. "Who would think a person could
celebrate for that long?"
That's when the fight started.
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When I got home late last night, the wife told me take her someplace
expensive for dinner. So, I took her to a gas station.
That's when the fight started.
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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'
My wife replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
That's when the fight started.
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