Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
If, Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work
**************
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Men = Pigs + earn money
If Men - earn money = Pigs
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Pigs
**************
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Women = Pigs + spend
If, Women - spend = Pigs
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Pigs
**************
Summary:
Men earn money not to let women become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!
Men + Women = 2 Pigs
Wish all the pigs happy forever.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
Zoology test
A college student needed a small two-hour course to fill his schedule and
the only one available was wildlife Zoology. So he joined in and after one
week of study, a test was held.The professor passed out sheets of small
paper where in each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs.
No bodies, no feet, just legs. The test asked each student to identify the
birds from their legs. Our student sat and stared at the test getting
angrier every minute.
Finally, he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on
the teacher's desk. "This is the worst test I have ever written."
The teacher looked up and said: "Young man, you have not filled in anything
and you definitely have failed the test. Tell me, what's your name?"
The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said, "You
tell me..."
the only one available was wildlife Zoology. So he joined in and after one
week of study, a test was held.The professor passed out sheets of small
paper where in each square was a carefully drawn picture of a bird's legs.
No bodies, no feet, just legs. The test asked each student to identify the
birds from their legs. Our student sat and stared at the test getting
angrier every minute.
Finally, he stomped up to the front of the classroom and threw the test on
the teacher's desk. "This is the worst test I have ever written."
The teacher looked up and said: "Young man, you have not filled in anything
and you definitely have failed the test. Tell me, what's your name?"
The student pulled up his pant to the knee showing his legs and said, "You
tell me..."
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Why God Made Moms. . .
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the
world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.
Why did God give you Your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on
beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
chores?
Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof
ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between Moms & Dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause
that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plasti c surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of
that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it
and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of
her head.
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the
world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use
string, I think.
Why did God give you Your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on
beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to
chores?
Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof
ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between Moms & Dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause
that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of
plasti c surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of
that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it
and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of
her head.
10 Saying for an Orkutian
ONE
If you're ugly,
stop acting like you don't know it.
The captions under you picture that says
"top model pose"
"sexy bitch"
"arnt i hot"
doesn't convince anyone.
TWO
To the people who have like 25,000 friends,
are you serious?
Nobody in this universe can keep up with that many friends.
You're stupid.
Go play in traffic.
THREE
Don't ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
"OMG,I'm so fat"
because if you were,
you wouldn't post them.
FOUR
Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics;
even if you win,
you're still retarded.
FIVE
Making 20 bulletins a day
about how you hate other people
b/c yoUR not on their top 8.
who really cares, i mean get over it!
SIX
Who really gives a crap if
I don't accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or message asking
"what's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend;
that's what's up!
SEVEN
Little 12 year olds who have Orkut
and look like sluts,
go somewhere else
because nobody wants you here.
EIGHT
If you have decided to read this,
you are a true Orkut Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins.
NINE
I say you go and pass this on
and maybe it will finally get through people's brains
TEN
And if you open a bulletin and it says something like
"repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape your dog tonight,"
IT'S NOT REAL!
QUIT BEING AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!
THOSE R REALLY STUPID!
If you're ugly,
stop acting like you don't know it.
The captions under you picture that says
"top model pose"
"sexy bitch"
"arnt i hot"
doesn't convince anyone.
TWO
To the people who have like 25,000 friends,
are you serious?
Nobody in this universe can keep up with that many friends.
You're stupid.
Go play in traffic.
THREE
Don't ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
"OMG,I'm so fat"
because if you were,
you wouldn't post them.
FOUR
Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics;
even if you win,
you're still retarded.
FIVE
Making 20 bulletins a day
about how you hate other people
b/c yoUR not on their top 8.
who really cares, i mean get over it!
SIX
Who really gives a crap if
I don't accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or message asking
"what's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend;
that's what's up!
SEVEN
Little 12 year olds who have Orkut
and look like sluts,
go somewhere else
because nobody wants you here.
EIGHT
If you have decided to read this,
you are a true Orkut Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins.
NINE
I say you go and pass this on
and maybe it will finally get through people's brains
TEN
And if you open a bulletin and it says something like
"repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape your dog tonight,"
IT'S NOT REAL!
QUIT BEING AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!
THOSE R REALLY STUPID!
NOT ALL THAT BAD :)
One night a guy took his girlfriend home. As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the front door, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?" Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
"Oh yes you can. Please?".... ........ ........
"No, no. I just can' t" "I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's older sister showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy irritated voice she said, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all our sakes.... "TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL "
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
"Oh yes you can. Please?".... ........ ........
"No, no. I just can' t" "I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's older sister showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy irritated voice she said, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all our sakes.... "TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL "
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Smart wife...
Dear Sweetheart:
I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses. You are
my sweetheart
Your husband
Joe
.
.
.
His wife replied to her husband:
Dearest sweetheart,
Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.
3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses
instead of the rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept any kisses , so I had 2 give him
some other items...........
5. Other expenses 40 kisses
Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I
hope I can complete the month using this balance.
Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!
Your Sweet Heart
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