Laugh It Out!!!

It all depends on your perspective ...

An English professor wrote the words "woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed her students to punctuate it correctly.

The male students wrote:

"Woman, without her man, is nothing."

The female students wrote:

"Woman! Without her, man is nothing."

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Husband : U know dear, our son got his brain from me.

Wife : I think he did, I've still got mine with me!

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A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away.


At the end of the service the pallbearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan.

They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then finally dies.

A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pallbearers are again carrying out the casket.

As they are walking, the husband cries out,

"Watch the wall!"

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How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

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A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles."

"She did." he replied. "But where in the hell was I gonna find a fake Jeep?"

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At a silver wedding anniversary, the husband was standing in one corner looking very sad.

"What's the matter?" asked his friend.

"Well, a week after marriage, I got fed up and wanted to kill my wife, but my lawyer said that I would get 25 years imprisonment. Now I realize that today I would have been a free man."

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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man..

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During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband, "Do you remember when you proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied : "Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."

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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

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This guy goes to a party without his wife. He hears this other guy say to his wife pass the sugar, Honey. and pass the honey, Sugar. Inspired by this, the next morning at breakfast with his wife, he says to his wife, "Pass the bacon, Pig

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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, You know, I was a fool when I married you. And the husband replied, Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it.

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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for awhile but then smiled and said, It really works!